there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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