He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My vagina is very pro this idea
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
