I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
