things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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