yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
