Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
