Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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