So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
