Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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