You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Congratulations! We have a period
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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