i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
