i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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