Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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