please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
