Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
