Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
