I CAN MOONWALK!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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