guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
