Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
