My room smells like vodka and shame
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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