I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
