The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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