He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
