wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
