I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
