In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Randomize
