Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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