So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
