she woke up with a sticky ear
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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