I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
