Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
