Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
