If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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