You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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