Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
