I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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