if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
