Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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