apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
