I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
