you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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