im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
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