Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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