So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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