This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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