She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
