I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
