garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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