The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
