Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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